Flash back to few years when I was a teenage girl. I was 18, barely knew the meaning of love. There I first time saw Ashok. He was an electrician who came to repair wiring problem detected in my room. Because of this fan and tubelights were not working and that was hampering me to prepare for my 11th exams. He looked like a fresh flower blooming amidst rain drops, I felt like violins were playing around me just like they showed in SRK's film Main Hoon na. He looked at me and gave a cute smile. He kept on staring at me and repairing fan and the tubelights. I understood his silent stare and next day I found him following me in the street.
"What is all this? Why are u following me?" I asked him.
"Madam ji, what is this? I thought you were looking at me with intentions of getting closer." he said.
"What do you mean? Should I complain to my mom?" I pretended to shout at him. He got scared and I started laughing "You really felt scared??". He held my hand and proposed to me. I was up in the sky. First time someone proposed to me and I admit he was good looking. Later we exchanged our cellphone numbers and started late night text messaging. He was not much educated so I used boost around him with my fluent English and general knowledge. I started dreaming about our wedding and how I would convince and break the jinx about love marriages. Slowly, he started coming to my house on the pretext of checking light bulbs and we played silent love tunes in broad day light and in my home.
After few days he called me in the park where he proposed and he said he wants to take this relationship forward. My eyes sparkled and I asked him if he wants to suggest for marriage. He subdued and said he doesn't have proper work and can't go and ask my parents my hand. But he slowly started touching me and holding my waist. I refused this gesture and told him that I will not allow all this before marriage. He forced to kiss me to which I didn't say anything. I was truly in love with him. Slowly, our love was becoming popular in the neighborhood and one day my brother caught me red handed.
Slap! Slap! I felt like someon's slapping me so hard when I faced this humiliation in my family. "Why on this earth you found this only lonely soul for falling in love??" my mother grieved over my choice. Before I could speak in my defense my brother shouted "She won't listen to us, now we have to ground her at home and not allow her to go anywhere without our permission". My father was feeling very bad since I had ruined his reputation in the neighborhood. But our love wouldn't have stopped for anyone. I told my father "Dad, I really love Ashok. He is right now an electrician but he is going to have his own electrical shop. We will work hard and attain a status.". "But Beta, he is not even from our caste forget about the economical status" he cried. "We don't believe in morally low things like caste etc.. "
I started speaking but I was stopped immediately by my brother. He force-ably took me to my room and locked me. This brought a wave of rage inside me. I immediately took my duppatta and got it on the fan blades and tried to commit suicide. Unfortunately, the fan couldn't take my weight and it fell down with a thud. Now enraged by this my family members came inside and called up a doctor.
"We need to get her married off to someone" my mom said. "Yes dad, we have no other alternative. Please talk to Jagdish kaka ( astrologer) and get her married" They all discussed without knowing what I wanted with my life. "She needs a psychiatrist." doctor said. "She is mentally very weak and you should understand her at this time." he pleaded them. But my family went to the police station and issued a summon against Ashok that he should be around 50meters distance of where I am staying. He called me up on the phone "Suman, are you mad. You tried to kill yourself!" he asked me. "Don't you dare ask me this question you fool. I love you madly. I want to marry you." I started crying. "How can I ask you to marry me? I don't have any money or business." he said. "I don't know what you are thinking but come here and rescue me. They want me to marry someone in this month." I told him.
Finally, bringing back the flash back to this day. I said yes to Akash when he came to meet me. He is an extremely brilliant guy. He has his own computer business and he is just 25yrs old. He loves me alot. The moment he met me, he fell in love with me. That's how he said yes to this arranged marriage. Now you might be wondering why I said yes to him. Because I didn't had a choice. We got married and went to Kanpur. That's where he is settled.
After two months of our marriage, he was going to Mumbai. "I wish Suman you could come with me. I will show you the Mumbai city. We will travel in local trains and enjoy mumbai rain. It will be so romantic." He told me. "I don't believe in romance. I don't like Mumbai. You can go wherever you want, but you can't take me along with you like a goat!" I gave him a sharp response. "Suman, I always treated you well. I am not subject to this kind of discrimination. I love you dear. Even though its an arranged marriage, you know how much I care for your opinion. I never had my first night with you since you were not mentally ready for this marriage. I am giving enough time to settle down and be friendly and close with me." He broke down calmly. But I don't want to give in to any emotions.
"Its very unfateful that you got married to me." I replied to him. He lost his patience and he forced me out of his house. I got my bag and hurriedly went to the railway station. I called up Ashok when I reached Delhi. I told him that we can go to a temple and secretly get married.
Ashok took me to his one room house and asked me to stay with him for couple of days until he makes arrangements. He came back only in the night and he was fully drunk. He brought a sindoor packet with him, he said that he loves me and put sindoor on my forehead. At last, my dream of love marriage came true, I was so happy but I wanted a traditional wedding with Ashok. "I want a traditional wedding, in a temple. You can call up your friends, your family. We will get married like I did last month." I told him.
"I waited for you so much Suman. You never allowed me to touch you. Now come here, you are my wife." his alcohol started speaking. "What are you saying Ashok?" I said. "You bitch, you never allowed me to touch you or kiss you. Now you want to marry me! I wanted to sleep with you and stopped myself so many times in my attempts to rape you. Now you are mine and you have to do what I say" he said. There it was, my dream crashed into million pieces. His words tore me apart. What did I do with my life? Where am I in the cross roads of my life? I left my family behind me which consisted of my parents, my brother who took care of me like a princess and got me married off to a rich and sensible guy who could have made my life heaven. But here I am ending up my life with a stupid guy who doesn't understand what love and sacrifice is and who just thinks loving a girl is getting licence for sexual assaulting her.
I wanted to find a way out of this. To my luck I saw that Ashok's main door was broken by the police and saw my hero Akash over there. "Akashhhhhhh" I ran towards him and started crying. "Look what did I do to you. I don't deserve you. I am such an idiot." I started cursing myself so bad that in that I didn't even dare to see his face. But he hugged me tightly and said "Suman, all I have is you. The day I took the 7 holy steps around the fire, I vowed myself I will protect you from all kind of people. I will love you till the end of my life. You are my queen and I don't like to see tears in your eyes." He wiped down my tears and took me away from the hell. "How did you find me?" I asked him. "Well you left your email open and I read all about you and Ashok in the email. I smelled something fishy in his replies which you never caught and tracked you here to rescue you." I found my soul back with this reply. He will be always there to protect me no matter what!
To my knowledge, marriage is an institution where you learn making sacrifices for each other, loving each other unconditionally. Who cares if its an arranged marriage or love?? Since once you marry your partner the most important thing is to hold on to each other unconditionally.
This story is written as a part of Indibloggers "Love marriage or Arranged marriage" debate. You can follow the facebook page here.
P.S. Images taken from google.
just awesome...your thoughts on marriages are somewhat aligned with mine :) :)
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