After four years, I felt like I died and was reborn in this world. It wasn't my first love. But it was a lonely road and heart breaking experience. It was my first affair with a married man, although accidental but it was definitely an addiction !
It was a decade ago when we first met - he was my friend since my college days. At that time he was part of my close friends group. We came close to each other during college parties but it didn't turn out into love. It was a mere attraction. Later, life took us on different paths and sent us to different countries. Throughout this time, we tried to maintain contacts through IM and social networking sites.
Things turned out in a different way for us and we happened to move back to India. But I stopped using social networking sites for few months and didn't know what life has in store for me!
I went to a hotel in Mumbai for a work function and I ran to catch an elevator. Hastily, I stepped on a handsome guy and hurted him. While apologizing I realized its HIMMMMMMM... Wow I felt so happy meeting him accidentally and I felt like the universe is embracing me. I told him that he was my secret crush during college days and I never told him that. We flirted with each other casually for few mins and then laughed on our silly behavior. He told me that he got married couple years back and I told him that I didn't marry yet since I was trying to recover from my previous relationship and focusing on my career for now. We connected instantly like never before !
After going to our rooms, we decided to meet tomorrow. Events moved rapidly for us - Lunch, dinner, shopping, outing and what not ! One day, he expressed his feelings for me and I was taken aback. I was unknowing having the no-strings-attached fun. Well he was bright, articulate and handsome guy, we knew about each other since college days. So, what's the problem if he wants to just have an extra marital affair with me. I didn't knew that he meant this seriously but this is how I started my journey as "being the other woman".
It was a physical longing that pulled me towards him without any warning. My wanting to be surrounded by him was instinctive. However, permanence was never discussed between us but soon I became emotionally attached to him. We communicated with each other almost everyday on phone, skype and email. We met regularly in the weekdays but not in the weekends. I felt like i finally found someone with whom I can be with. We started planning for me to join him in his successive business trips in other countries. Everything he did and said screamed "Love" !
Slowly my position in his life became as a "mistress" instead of "college friend". I began my frequent travels and started spending a fortune on that. Whenever he went alone on a business trip, I flew 16hrs-20hrs to just meet him. We shared many intimate and fun times together. There was a freshness in our relationship. However, the sad part is I learnt many other things in this relationship as well. I learnt performing stunts like jumping out of a hotel window or gate to avoid being seen by his colleagues. At certain times I couldn't call him even if i need him urgently. For instance when he is with his family I cannot call him or send him an email since his wife looks over his shoulder to see what email he gets. I have to spend all my holidays sitting alone at home since he needs to join his family. This drove me crazy. He missed many important moments of my life and I missed his.
But I finally got to attend his birthday one year and I had to pretend as his college friend. It was right then i witnessed the way he interacted with his wife - way he cared for her, introduced her with others and put his arm on her. All I did was crying inside my heart. I felt like somewhere down the road I am losing my identity. It was hard being the other woman, mentally and emotionally. Since in reality, he will not be in my life whenever I need him. I started dating other guys from my work and thought I could forget him in that way. But we still ended up being back together.
During 3rd year of our relationship, he spoke about getting divorce from his wife. I thought finally the things are moving for us. He spent most of the timeat my home. But little did I know that it was the beginning of the end. He found job in another city and initially he would make calls to me regularly and insisting me to get a job over there. But slowly the calls ceased and he blamed it on the signal problem of cellphone carrier company. I went to his city for attending job interviews and he met me in the hotel lobby. It was an unfamiliar place but he didn't even help me to search for an apartment or a house. His behavior was totally different.
Yes, I had become 'the other woman' in his life. There is no getting around. I didn't get the privilege of talking or meeting him whenever I wanted. After six months, I spoke to him about the inconsistent communication between us even though we are in the same city, he suggested for a temporary break up. But what if he never takes the divorce? What if I would wait for him forever? With these thoughts I felt like he stabbed a knife on my back and I feel the pain. He deserted me for his convenience and I thought I should not take this any more. So I left that place.
It has been a month now, since I grieved for the death of my relationship. This breakup gave me the chance to breathe and wake up.