Many times you feel restless and hear all wierd noises in your head. You feel the darkness around you even when the moon and the meteors lit up the sky. You feel the pain in your heart and tears don't stop embracing your cheeks. I felt the same when I broke up with James today. I went to the Brooklyn bridge where he told me that he loves me for the first time and proposed to me with a ring. Tears are welling up in my eyes. It was late night but I lived in New york - city that never sleeps ! I took my car and drove near the bridge. There was meteor shower today and they were illuminating the city like fireworks. I stood up there holding the rails of the bridge and watched the meteors fall on the city.
Pic is taken from here.
I felt like I am trapped in this world of pain. My heart was pounding as i removed my engagement ring. Why did i fell into the relationship which left me in despair? Does everyone who is in love has this kind of brutal ending? Truth is always bitter. My mom and my friends were right. My intuition that kept nagging me was right. But I didn't want to stop and listen to them. Look at me today, I am standing right on the bridge with my engagement ring with a feeling that I am the dumbest fool in this world for believing him.
But seldom does anyone realize this that the sweet lips could vent out the venom inside; how can you figure out that you are living in a fictitious world where you dream't about having a long lasting relationship where nothing could go wrong? How could you not trust the enchanting words that could lure you to the extent of having a dream about the ' invincible love '?
There were many signs, but I chosed not to look; many times i heard the voices from my head who asked me to walk away, break your heart yourself rather than he breaking your heart but I refrained myself from taking that step. There were times when i cried so much that my friends started advising me to break up since I didn't deserve that kind of relationship. There were innumerable nights where I would lay on my bed and convince myself that everything's gonna be alright, but somewhere deep down in my heart feeling a sense of insecurity.
Now, when I stand near the bridge I feel only if I hadn't given so much, trusted so much and cared so much, the pain would have been bearable. With all these thoughts I dropped the engagement ring in the water and walked away towards my home !
This post is written for Thursday Tales